Power of Please & Thank You!

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My 21 month-old son Cade has been recently talking more and more. Its so much fun to hear the words he's putting together to understand what is going through his little mind. He's saying things like "Chuck E Cheese have fun" and "Shoot hoops with friends at gym" but my most favorite words that Cade has been saying lately is "Peas" and "Tay-tu" (translation - Please and Thank You.")

I have always been a big proponent for saying "Please and Thank You" in my life but didn't really realize how important or how good if feels to hear until I started hearing Cade say it. It surely is a simple concept and simple enough for a 21 month-old to understand but I realize how many people through out the world forget this simple act of kindness and how infectious it can be.

My favorite was recently I was changing Cade's diaper and when we were finished (without any prompting I might add), he says "Tay-tu Mommy". I can't tell you how good that made me feel inside! One, because he understood when to say Thank You and Two, that he was glad that I had changed his diaper. Another favorite is when we get up first thing in the morning he always says, "Milk peas." Just hearing those simple words of "Peas and Tay-tu" make me feel good about doing more for him. It's not always this polite around here but when I do get a Please and Thank You, it sure makes what you do do feel that much better.

To me that simple concept needs to be carried out more through-out our daily lives. Just a simple "please" or "thank you" can be expressed so simply to people we come into contact with every day and promote an infectious positivity throughout our life and the lives of others. This common courtesy promotes the age-old saying "do unto others as you would have done unto you." It is nice to be thanked and its nice to hear please when being asked for something. 

For me, it makes me want to do things for people again if I hear a genuine please or thank you. I am more willing to go the extra mile. I would hope and only guess that the other person will be more likely to pass along those same "pleases and thank you's" to someone else. It sure does help promote a more positive world to live in for us and our kids. 

I love saying please and thank you to a waiter when out to eat. It usually makes them more likely to do more for me, and in turn they get a better tip - everyone wins! I also like waving to a driver when they have let me over as I am hoping to promote less road rage.  One that I still struggle with is saying "Thank You" when someone gives me a compliment. But I assure you, it makes the other person's compliment seem more important when I am able to graciously accept with a "Thank You".

Kids are sponges and a direct reflection of what they see. So if your kids could use a little work on the "Peas and Tay-tu's" - maybe you too could practice applying this powerful yet simple concept into your own day-to-day life. Try it with bank teller, cashier, waiter, or better yet a family member, friend or your own kids. You never know - they might surprise you with a few more of these words too.

Have a great day!

PS. If you are starting to spring clean and get ready for summer clothes, consider "passing" your clothes along to someone in need. We have received several new requests for clothes. With seasons changes, more kids need clothes for the new weather. "Please" and "Thank You" from Pass It On, Baby! :)

In love and kindness,

Email Elizabeth & Heather

We're Still Here... =)

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Pardon the rambling today. I wanted to reach out and write something, but I am battling some type of sickness. The thoughts are pure, but my mind is a little tired and clouded with medicine. Please be forgiving for any mistakes.... =)

As the seasons change, we are still here helping. Sometimes we don't update our page with immediate needs as much as we should...but week after week, boxes are still heading from one beloved child to another - easing the burden on the mother.

I was talking to my husband lately about how many companies are involved in the idea of giving back. From credit card companies to banks, its great...but it does seem like a increase from what we would normally see. He had an interesting perspective on the whole phenomena. He said that giving back or helping another is pure, innocent and deep down inside we all know it's the right way. As we live our lives further and further away from that with some of the garbage reality TV, greed everywhere, and a loss of many values in our culture, there is a part of us that seeks to hold on that which is good and true.

I don't know if that is true or not, but it makes for an interesting discussion. We talked for awhile about if we know it's the right way, what's the difficulty? We talked about us ourselves and how no matter how much you make, you automatically adjust your lifestyle to account for that new money. We talked about our own path and whether we help as much as we should and how to know. We didn't come upon any answers, but sometimes it helps to just reflect on it all.

That's a totally different conversation that one I had with a girlfriend of mine a few days ago. We were out talking about life and I mentioned my charity and she talked about one that her husband was involved in. She said, "I don't think it's about looking for ways to give back, but rather those that are put in your path to make sure that you see those and help those on their way."

I guess in the end, it doesn't matter. Your way won't be my way and vice versa. That's kind of how it goes in life. So, just help where you yourselves are called to help and this world will be a better place. :)

That being said, if you ARE called to help through Pass It On, Baby! please check your closets as you move from Winter to Spring and your kiddos outgrown their sizes. There are many children who don't have enough clothes to get them through a season. You would likely be shocked at how many people we hear from whose children have nothing but torn and worn children. I have four older boys. My third son has quite a few pairs of jeans...but he ALWAYS plays on his knees. The other day I took out all the pants that had holes in the knees - I think it was more than five pairs! Now, we are fortunate that we usually can hand down from son to son and also buy more clothing when we need it. But really - five pairs? If you were hurting to provide the basics - there is no way you could replace that immediately.

The other day we heard from a woman who was a lot like many of us. She loved to shop and took great pride in how she clothed her children and their appearance. She came across our site and was so happy that she could take those clothes that she had dressed her own children up in and pass them on to another mother who could hopefully feel the same pride. She was passing along all the time and the love she had taken to carefully choose each and every outfit for her daughter and son. It made that feeling that she loved with her own kiddos move onward and carry on.

We are fortunate that you care. That you help. That you reach out for these kiddos. Thank you so very much.

In love and kindness,


Email Elizabeth & Heather

Don't take anything personally...

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DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. ~The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Recently I've been re-reading one of my favorite books called The Four Agreements. It's a simple to read book about the agreements we make with ourselves that lead us into a life of unfulfilled expectations in our relationships. Because a couple of the relationships in my life have been i guess what you could say as challenging - I decided it was time to crack open this book again. 

For me, I have many expectations out of my relationships. I give 150% to others (sometimes to a fault) and in return I expect 150%. I help family members in need, some in more desperate need than others, and expect to receive an abundance of appreciation and gratitude. Not to toot my own horn to make me feel how "good" I am but more to know that my loving efforts aren't taken for granted or expected. I want my giving to be a sign of how much I'm willing to give or give-up in order to be there for someone I care for. Because of this, I get easily disappointed. Little do I realize that the recipient in my life is perceiving this loving gift from a completely different perspective than me. They may feel shame, self-conscious, inadequate or just downright depressed because of their situation - and then having to take my form of help. I guess I don't realize what it is the other person is going through and may be unable to express their gratefulness in a way that is "satisfactory" for my feelings. 

That's why this book - especially the above quote on taking things personally - has been so important in me coming to terms with how I have let others affect my feelings about myself. In the past, I have taken what seems to be ungratefulness as a representation that my help or giving to my family member was not enough or that it wasn't good enough. Truly it isn't about me. It's about them. I have to know that as long as my efforts came from a loving place without my ego looking for praise, that I am truly providing the support and assistance they need. 

On the same note, I seem to get lots of opinions from other friends and family members about why I should or shouldn't be helping out or assisting my family member. They have their own thoughts and ideas about what kind of help should be given or how it should be given. I guess again, they aren't coming from my perception. If it's deep in my heart to do something, I should do it and not feel bad because someone else's opinion on the matter is different than mine. As a past people pleaser, this can be quite a challenge. Too many others opinions in my head can make it difficult to know what I truly feel but now I've decided that no matter what I should trust my own feelings and judgments. 

Maybe you can relate in some form or fashion. I just know that I believe so strongly in supporting and helping those in need - especially my own family - that I have to remember that I do it for my reasons from my perspective no matter what anyone else thinks or how they respond to my help. This will keep me free from future pain and suffering looking for affirmations of gratitude or affirmations of doing the right thing. 

I am including additional information about the book and the other agreements. Maybe something will give you and "aha" moment that will free you from unnecessary suffering in your relationships.

Everything we do is based on agreements we have made. In these agreements, we tell ourselves who we are, what everyone else is, how to act, what is possible and what is impossible. What we have agreed to believe creates what we experience. When these agreements come from fear, obstacles and blocks in our life develop  keeping us from realizing our greatest potential.

Based on an ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives and work into a new experience of effectiveness, balance and self-supporting behavior.  

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY - Repeated from above - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. 

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST  - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

May you find some wisdom in these words as I have in helping me cope with difficult relationships and situations. If you've read this book before, maybe you have some insight or practical application to these agreements. Or maybe you just have a comment about what you've read. Please share your thoughts. We want to continue making this space an open forum for not just giving and charity but also in development of ourselves as mothers, wives, daughters, friends and so on.

In love and kindness,

Email Elizabeth & Heather

Thoughts for a Wonderful World....

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Recently I started thinking about how much Heather and I talk about our opinions on giving back and helping those less fortunate. I make no secret of it that sometimes it makes me feel like I'm lecturing or up on a soap box. It makes me even more uncomfortable since I myself am SUCH a work in progress. But, I think I've come to an important realization (one that my poor husband had to listen to for at least an hour on a recent road trip while I got my mind around how I really feel....hee hee =)...you need to, you HAVE to talk, live and share areas in your life that you want to strengthen. You should link up with others that feel the same way. Isn't that what we do when we come together to celebrate our religion as a community? Isn't that why society suggests conquering addictions as a support team? Because its easier to commit to something WITH another than it is without. If you are committing to being kind - a community that feels the same will share ideas and help keep you moving in the right direction. Even when we ourselves aren't for that moment. Because we're living a human existence and so we fall. And then get back up again. And then fall....and as long as you surround yourself with likeminded people and messages of positivity, you'll get back on the path again.... even when its hard and you just don't feel like it. After enough times of surrounding yourself with the positive message, it becomes hard to just ignore it and turn away from it. It becomes a part of who you are.

The great thing for Heather and I about PIOB (Pass It On, Baby! - clever, eh?) is that we really CAN'T fall too far off the path in giving and kindness. Why? Because we are lucky enough to hear from people on both sides -- people who need and people who give - and they pull us right back in to the fold. We hear stories and personal thoughts - and so while I have a string of days that are crazy and I'm stressed, or I am stewing about something that I cannot change, or I am jealous or envious, or (insert your weakness here - I'm sure I've suffered from it!!) - there is this voice that comes through from the emails telling me to snap out of it. It reminds me to become the person you want to be each and every day. And it also reminds me to focus on what's important, what's good - to me that's helping others in any way that I can. Right now, that way is moms and children - its what I know.

For me, its really easy to get lost in the day to day. Running kids to school, back from school , to activities, dinner, chores - sometimes when I'm feeling REALLY sorry for myself, I think I just have SO much going on. Boo hoo for me....so tired. (lol!!) But, then remind myself that EVERYONE has the exact same 24 hours in the day. And that the days build in to weeks, months and then years. If you keep waiting for there to be time to become the person you want -that chance may never come. So, like all of us, you make time for your priorities. And though I can't tell you how to prioritize your life, I can tell you that every religion, every branch of spirituality tells you to care for your fellow mankind. Why? Because we're all in this together.

When I was little, when my brother and I would fight and argue or my sister, my mom would tell us that our family was only as strong as our weakest link. The same can be said about our society. Mahatma Ghandi once said, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." He was one of about ten famous authors who said a similar statement. ' So I think that most of us know - I mean know in our core that that is what we are supposed to be doing....its just that we aren't always the person we are supposed to be - again, me at the top of the list!! We are busy, stressed, tired, sick....but regardless of that we HAVE to find the time to be the people we want to be.

You might be reading along and think - Wow - how pompous and arrogant she is! The truth is, I'm not. I don't mean to be. I'm trying like you are and I just want this place to be a little better than we found it. I'm making mistakes as I go...I'm trying to learn from others....and I really hope that you see some positivity in my words and that maybe it helps just a little. I can't tell you how many times little notes from some of you have helped get me back to where I need to be headed.

In love and kindness,


Email Elizabeth & Heather

A single mom's plea for help...

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Everyday we continue to get stories and notes from mothers struggling to provide even the basic of items for their children. We've shared stories of kids without winter coats, even socks and shoes. 

We heard from one particular mother towards the end of the year in a panic, desperate to receive assistance. Her name is Jennifer and she is a single working mother. At the time she contacted us, she had 2 older children and 1 little one on the way (a bit of a surprise and definitely not planned). Most of her family lives far away from her and those who do live close are unable to help her with much more than a supportive ear. With her little girl due in January, Jennifer found herself struggling to find baby items that she could use - even finding a used crib was quite a feat. Her friends threw her a very moderate shower as most of them are struggling moms as well so she found herself just a couple of weeks from having her little girl and in a panic to even have bottles, clothes, bibs, you name it - just the basics in bringing home a newborn baby. Miraculously Jennifer was guided to Pass It On, Baby! She reached out for help and PIOB was able to deliver. Several boxes of clothes, toys, bottles, odds and end necessities were sent as little care packages just in time for the new little girl. Jennifer has been so overwhelmed by the love and support from Pass It On, Baby! 

I am writing this to show my gratitude to everyone who has helped me at Pass It On, Baby! PIOB has been such a blessing to me and my children. I am a single mom of 3 kids and times are very hard for me. I just recently had a baby and because of PIOB - my baby came home from the hospital with clothes. I didn't have anything for my baby - clothes, bottles, mittens, and because of some wonderful packages I received - I was able to give my infant what she needed. I think this method of reaching out and helping the parents that are hurting financially is such a great thing! I can't even begin to fully express or even explain how much this has truly helped me. If it was not for Pass It On, Baby!, I really don't know how I would have properly clothed my infant or provided her the necessities. I truly feel blessed. I hope that Pass It On, Baby! can touche other people's lives the way it has done mine...

Thank you sincerely,

Jenn

PS. Here are a few pics of my little girl with some of her Pass It On, Baby! clothes as well as her with her proud brother and sister.                                                                                                        

Thank you again to all the wonderful donors of Pass It On, Baby! Whether you donate clothes, donate your time reading this blog and sharing our message, or donate your love to someone else you know in need - we couldn't survive without you!

In love and kindness,

Email Elizabeth and Heather

A grandmother's wish...

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Pass It On, Baby! loves to take the stories of donors and recipients that have been blessed through this online community and share that along with all of you. We feel that hearing these stories directly from the source helps to personalize how we are all helping another as well as connect us on a more personal level. Such is the story of a grandmother who wrote back to us in December about her daughter and 3 grandchildren who were struggling. Here is her note to us.

I recently received this website from a friend of mine at work. My daughter is a stay at home mom and could certainly use a helping hand. Jakob is in 5th grade and is a good brother. In January 2008 they welcomed a little baby girl named Elizabeth. It was quite a surprise as my daughter had several miscarriages and did not expect to have another child. Then as the Lord will provide, she had another son, Justin in March 2009.

The day before we heard from her about her family, we received a note from a wonderful mother looking to "adopt a family" for Christmas. She purchased items brand-new for this family. Her box of blessings arrived just shortly before the Christmas holiday. Here is the note back from the grandmother - expressing her appreciation as well as sharing pictures of her grandchildren in their newly received clothes.

My name is Mary K., otherwise know as Nana.  My daughter Nikki and her family are like a lot of people here in the United States…hardworking, scraping by on a shoestring and a prayer and sometimes a miracle happens.  My friend Christie told me about Pass It on Baby and how it helped her family.  I thought that Nikki could certainly use some help so I e-mailed and talked with the angels Elizabeth and Heather.  I let them know that Jakob, Elizabeth and Justin could really use some winter coats.  The immediate response I got was overwhelming.  When the box arrived it was the best Christmas present anyone could receive.  My daughter and I cried on her kitchen floor as we opened the box to find new boots and coats for all of them.  They even put in a pair of soft footies for me.  

I know I could not have afforded to buy all of those coats for them, but with the help of some very beautiful individuals, my grandchildren have had a lot of winter fun in their snowsuits and did not have to stay inside on beautiful winter’s day.  

This is the beauty of Pass It On, Baby!'s circle of love - the giving and the receiving is what creates our community. Please check out our immediate needs section and help where you can or pass along this site to those who you think might be interested in helping us continue our circle. As always, we thank you for being apart of our community as well as reading our blog. We would love to continue hearing from any of you - if you have been a donor, a recipient or are just a reader. We want to know your thoughts or your stories.

In love and kindness,

Email Elizabeth and Heather

Share your Inspiration and Inspire Another.....

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You know, as you listen to popular music or some of the messages present in today's society - there is this big push to define yourself as having done everything yourself. "No one gave me anything." And while that's great - its so not completely true. There are people everywhere that have built us up to the moment we are at now. Friends, family, co-workers, social services...whatever. Sometimes it takes a long time to look back and to realize the sacrifice that another person made on your behalf. Sometimes it takes a long time to appreciate it enough to say that you, in turn, want to do something similar for someone else. Sometimes, it takes "growing up" to determine who you want to be and set about getting there. I am one of those people who wants to make a difference in someone's life. I want to pass along good. I want someone to think that I made their burden just the slightest bit easier. But, I am this person today, because of all the people that have helped me and unconsciously taught me to be just that. And, frankly, who loved me enough to still "do" for me and help me, when maybe I wasn't yet that person....


When someone helps us out, we say thanks - but sometimes, as the years go by, you realize that the thanks you gave was pretty minimal and that it shaped you in ways you would have never imagined when you were in that moment. Here's your chance. If you have someone that you'd love to spotlight - write a quick note of thanks and tell your story. It inspires others and shows us all how great people are! You can comment, you can choose to blog about them, whatever works for you. Maybe you'll just choose to reflect.....so here goes. One of my inspirations....Anne.

My husband and I married young - while we were still in college. I had my first son while still in school, and though we wanted to wait for our second son to be born until after school was finished - Someone Up Above had a different plan for me. =) Fortunately, I accepted a job in December of my senior year, so I didn't have to interview pregnant. I did, however, have to start my new job pregnant and immediately begin talking about maternity leave since I was scheduled to start in July and my son was due in October. I know there's nothing wrong with my situation, but it was uncomfortable for me and I was intimidated to meet all my new colleagues 6 months pregnant, just out of school.

Anyhow, my first day I started alongside Anne. Anne was from Brigham Young and I was from Purdue. We hit it off immediately. She was fun and loving, insightful and exciting. We became fast friends. We were both living in Michigan with no family around and new enough in town not to have many friends there either. Because of this, I started to worry how to plan care for my older son while I was in the hospital having my second son. My husband would be with me and my family was a minimum of 4 hours away. It would take them a little while to get there. So, when the time came, we took my older son to his preschool and headed to the hospital. Anne had offered to pick up my son from school and bring him to the hospital to meet his brother. She had to leave early that day from work to pick him up - which of course, she did without saying a word to me. She brought him to the hospital and then when he was tired, brought him to her apartment to play. She was wonderful. While I was on leave, she brought some adorable gifts from my co-workers to my home....she had organized the gift-giving too. I could go on and on about Anne, but none of those are the moment that I really want to focus on.

Eventually life went back to normal. I went back to work following leave, my husband was in grad school and we were making the best of our life. Life was busy with two little ones, but we were happy. One day Anne asked me if we had ever been out on a date since we had moved to Michigan. I thought about it for a second and had to say we hadn't. My second son was less than a year at the time and we had never felt comfortable having anyone watch them. She promptly said that was it and that my husband and I were heading to dinner that weekend and that she was coming over to babysit. I tried to protest, but she was having none of it. So, that weekend, my husband I went out to dinner. I can remember every detail of that date because it was so special. Anne told us she didn't want to see us back home before several hours (but that we could call to check =), so we truly just enjoyed ourselves. She accepted no money, said she was happy to do it and let two tired parents out for a night without worry. Everything was perfect when we got home. The kids were happy and well- taken care of. We were rejuvenated. Most of us would say - wow - how sweet or thoughtful....and it might not seem that out of the ordinary for those of us in our 30s. The difference was that Anne was 24. She had no children at the time. She just saw a need and reached out to lend a hand.

My second son is now nine. Neither Anne nor I work for that company any longer. We live in different states and don't see each other as much as we'd like - but in that same spirit she has always have, if I ever need a friend, she is there. She is expecting her first child very soon. I can't wait to meet her daughter this summer and more than that, I can't wait to tell that little girl how wonderful of a mother she truly has and how lucky I am to have met her.

My story is no different than any of yours. But there is power in each of ours....share your story. Inspire another. We'd love to hear it.....post on your blog and let us know or share a comment with us.

In love and kindness,


Email Elizabeth & Heather