Everyday Miracles....

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I think the old saying goes "sometimes you're the bat and sometimes you're the ball" ... it's kind of the way life works out. Sometimes you're the message, other times the message is directed to you. Lately, I guess I've been both...and learning a lot about the risks you take, the benefits you reap and remembering that you either jump head-first in the pool or walk away all together.....there is no sitting on the side. =)

Easter Sunday is an important time for our family. Yes, it's a time where we celebrate with food, candy and egg hunts - but for my husband and I, its also a time where we take stock of our lives and the way in which we are raising our children. It was important for us to celebrate by going to Mass on Easter Sunday. We had the kids dressed up beautifully, had finished up one egg hunt, had an amazing breakfast and were feeling pretty good about life. I remember the moments clearly, because I teared up a few times thinking about how perfect the day was and how I wished I could bottle the moment and never have it leave. So, when my two year old, Ashlyn, started getting squirrely in Mass, I took her out and let her wander the halls without a second thought. There were LOTS of moms and dads out doing the same thing, each with their own level of frustration. While Ashlyn explored, I read the bulletin boards and noticed a 5K going on for a young girl and her boyfriend that had passed away in a car wreck earlier in fall. Ashlyn distracted me and I went back to watching her when a grandfather approached me and told me how nice Ash looked. I thanked him and remarked the same about his granddaughter in her Easter dress. He had noticed our family in church and talked about how well behaved my kids were and how nice they looked. (Not sure what moment he saw them in --hee hee...because the behaving can sometimes be a rarity!) Anyhow, we started talking about having large families. He was so interested in our family because he, himself had seven children and my young family reminded him of his own. He talked about the fun of the holidays and how he also had a boy dominated family...we just seemed to hit it off and were at ease talking. He looked down and paused for a second and said, "Im so sorry. I don't know why I am telling you this, but that was my youngest," and motioned to the bulletin board where the memorial race was advertised. His fifteen year old daughter had been the girl who passed away in the car wreck. I hugged him immediately and we both started crying. Here I was in the moment of absolute joy with my baby, and he was living his first Easter without his own. We talked for a little before Mass was over and it ended up that I volunteered for his sister-in-law on a weekly basis. A week later when I ran in to her, she pulled me aside and told me that her brother-in-law had struggled with his faith since the accident and had seen his running in to me as a message that people and life in general is good. It was his moment of peace on Easter. Its funny you  know, because I'm always struggling to get to church too, struggling with my beliefs, struggling to be a better person. Strange to think that you could be a message of compassion for someone when you yourself are looking for that same message....

At the same time, I see someone like Tammy as my own sort of message. She represents all that you can do when you truly give of yourself to help another. If you haven't read her story....please click here. If you remember, Tammy is the mother of two who was chatting on a moms message board with a mother two states away who had been diagnosed with lymphoma. With no one to help her care for her small daughter during her treatments, she had started to turn them down until she could figure something out. That was when Tammy had the thought - what if I cared for her daughter (she runs an in-home daycare center) while she focused on getting better. It was a story that touched so many of our hearts. Recently Tammy wrote to us again, not for any accolades, but to make sure that the mother she was helping by caring for her beautiful daughter, knew how loved she was. Take a moment and read about the good news and the struggles they have experienced here....it is amazing. http://www.thewolfleysketchpad.com/ Tammy reminds me that sometimes the real answers don't come from the head - that sometimes that gets in the way. Sometimes the real answers are irrational, unclear and uncertain.....but in the end, those moments will make it all worth living.

I say it a lot - but I feel so lucky to meet these people along the way. They humble me and remind me how I want to live and who I need to be. We recently heard from a mother of a miracle baby. A baby born without a heartbeat and without brain fuction....who remained that way for 13 minutes. He wasn't supposed to live. He wasn't supposed to eat, to walk, to talk.....and yet he is. With a mother who never gave up. With another inspiration....

Sometimes I spend so much time making lists, dealing in reality and common sense that I forget that there are miracles that occur each and every day. They come in the forms of people. They show in the form of example. They touch our lives and make us want to be just a little better from having met them. So here's to them. and to you...those of you that have walked as an example and who make the beauty in the world seem just a little bit brighter. You never know who is watching, who is learning, whose life you will have touched or influenced. But the world is just a tad better because of you, today.

In love and kindness,


Email Elizabeth & Heather

Easter Fun!

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We hope all of you had a very happy Easter! This past Easter my little family (Me, Chris & Cade) went to Kansas finally to visit my dad's side of the family. We had missed the Christmas holiday due to the big blizzard at the end of December.

Cade had everyone's names memorized, GG (for great grandma), Gray Papa (aka great grandpa), Keri, Kim, Bruce, Charna, etc...I was pretty happy that he said everyone's name on cue so well since he's only 21 months old.

We spent time on the golf course hitting balls with daddy, driving the golf court (yes, he got to steer), hanging out at my uncle's with a big bonfire and playing with ALL the animals (like 5 cats, 3 dogs and lots of birds).

Cade got to a "trial run" easter egg hunt at GG's on Saturday morning since Sunday we had plans. (Plus he wouldn't know the difference.) When Sunday came, Cade had a cute little handed down outfit from my friend Anna who's been "passing on" clothes to Cade for the last couple of years. It hand only been worn a handful of times and looks nearly brand new. We headed over to my Great Aunt's house in Topeka and spent the day with with my cousins and their little ones. The day started off with an Easter Egg Hunt. Cade being the youngest, the older kids had been instructed to help him find eggs or make sure he had an even amount. Cade gave them a run for their money. He was hustling up eggs left and right so eventually my husband would take eggs out while Cade wasn't looking and put them down for the other kids to find.

Since Cade doesn't really eat candy yet (it will happen soon enough) nor does he know anything about money, we gave all the earnings of quarters and candy to the other kids. He just had fun playing with the eggs and hiding them again.

We enjoyed our trip, albeit we were exhausted. It was nice for us to get away and for Cade to learn about the rest of his family. I got to slow down from my very hectic schedule as I usually teach classes, work a contract job, handle my marketing clients and then fill in the rest with being a mom and wife. Being in a small town really helped me slow down and just enjoy. It felt nice not to have every minute of the day planned until bed. Sometimes we would just lay around until after lunch and then decide to do something. My goal is to continue working towards a day a week that I have that same feeling. Less planned more relaxed. 

All in all Easter was enjoyed by everyone. Cade is still talking about GG, Gray Papa, etc to this day so it must have been memorable for him too even though he's only 21 months. :)

As spring is fully upon us, families in need are looking to clothe their children with seasonal clothes. Please look through your closets and see if you have a few outfits (in good used condition) to donate to a family in need. Let us know and we will gladly find a match. Thanks for listening and as always for Passing It On!

In love and kindness,

Email Elizabeth & Heather

The Season of Beauty ♥

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I LOVE spring. It's my season. I've always lived in some corner of the Midwest, so spring is a welcome change from snow, lack of sunshine and overall dreariness that comes with the tail-end of winter. I fall in love with the world and life in general just about the same time every year. I get really (probably nerdily so) in to the whole idea of the season of rebirth. Of starting over....light from darkness, second chances, new beginnings. And more than anything...the beauty of it all.

Beauty has been on my mind a lot lately. Not the skin-deep outside appearance type, but that which is true, full of love and makes our lives extraordinary. This past weekend, my husband and I spent a weekend in Chicago sans kiddos. One of the "must sees" on our list was the Art Institute. It holds a special place in our hearts because way back in what feels like a cross between just yesterday and a lifetime ago, he asked me to marry him. So, on our walk down Memory Lane, we spent some time there. We loved it on so many levels. For me, the paintings represent a glimpse in to someone's soul and what they themselves found beautiful in the world. There were paintings of the less fortunate, pictures of loved ones, pictures of religious occurrences, paintings of strangers, of pets -- you get it. But what's so magical about it all, is that each person painted (or photographed, or sculpted) what they found beautiful and profound. They focused on their little corner of the world and made sense of it how they could. And all of sudden, what should have been a revelation from long ago, came to me. It doesn't matter how we make sense of the world - how we add beauty (if you will) but that we do. That we do create and improve and give our best - wherever and to whatever it may be.

Throughout my life, I hated those questions that you might do at work or in any "getting to know you" session where you had to say something unique about yourself or what made you different. I still don't have a good answer to the question. What's unique and different about me? Who knows. Maybe how I see and feel the world....but again, isn't that just like all of us? Maybe for me, a better question would be how I make sense of the world. Helping others (primarily children) helps me make sense of this lifetime. Why? Because my path lead me down that path. I was a young mother and proceeded to have five kiddos - so much of my life has been dedicated to raising them, teaching them and caring for them. I started out struggling along the way - and so it's no great stretch that I might help someone coming along a similar path that I did. The artists make sense of the world by painting, sculpting, photographing that which is beautiful. They include symbolism and themes and their own perspectives and points of view. For those that love art, they add beauty in to the world. The same can be said for those that write stories, or those that create music. All of us are just making sense of the world which the eyes and perspective that we were given. And to me it's all so beautiful.....

After I had this thought or realization, or whatever you want to call it, my husband and I were walking around the city. We came upon a boy (really - he was pretty young - certainly not even 21) that was standing on a milk-crate preaching his faith. It was beautiful. Not because I necessarily believed in everything that he said, but because it was said in love for what he was doing. He believed SO strongly in the words that he was saying that you couldn't help but smile when you heard his words. He preached against racism and arrogance and fear and talked about those as sneaky forms of hate. We loved his conviction....he added beauty to the world because his beliefs were so pure, honest and built on love for his fellow man.

Later that day, Dave and I stopped to get a treat as we walked within the city. Just outside the shop, there was a man selling Streetwise (which is a publication that those who are homeless sell so that they are not just pan-handling - but actually selling a product). I watched through the windows as a group of young adults approached the man and talked with him. They were the type of people that I always look upon with interest and maybe even envy - those who are totally comfortable in their own skin. The girl that was leading the conversation was warm, smiling and totally at ease. The group was introducing themselves by name and at the end of their short interaction, the girl reached in to her backpack and pulled out a grocery bag filled with non-perishables. I realized then, that each person in the group had a backpack on, and guessed that they must have been doing this repeatedly. It was beautiful and brought tears of humility to my eyes.

There are those out there creating beautiful parks, helping people, rescuing animals, painting, writing, dancing, raising children, planting gardens, being amazing friends (and man, do I have some of them!!=) - simply put - just processing the beauty that they see on this Earth and I am so glad that each and every one is doing it in their own way. Sometimes, especially when Heather and I depend on our word getting out, I (I won't say "we" because she may be doing better than me - LOL!) expect everyone to just hop on board with our cause and just get to helping people. But, that's a really arrogant view, right? And I'm learning....bear with me! =) There are MILLIONS of great causes around the world - we just can't each stand for everything....and it also isn't my job to stand over here and judge and insist you process the world the way I do.

So, beautiful people -- HAPPY EASTER!! I hope you view the world as beautiful and that you see that each of our roles in this world are beautiful also.

In love and kindness,


Email Elizabeth & Heather

Power of Please & Thank You!

Please note: If this is your first time visiting our blog, please click here to hear the premise of Pass It On, Baby! and how it all began.... Pass It On, Baby!

My 21 month-old son Cade has been recently talking more and more. Its so much fun to hear the words he's putting together to understand what is going through his little mind. He's saying things like "Chuck E Cheese have fun" and "Shoot hoops with friends at gym" but my most favorite words that Cade has been saying lately is "Peas" and "Tay-tu" (translation - Please and Thank You.")

I have always been a big proponent for saying "Please and Thank You" in my life but didn't really realize how important or how good if feels to hear until I started hearing Cade say it. It surely is a simple concept and simple enough for a 21 month-old to understand but I realize how many people through out the world forget this simple act of kindness and how infectious it can be.

My favorite was recently I was changing Cade's diaper and when we were finished (without any prompting I might add), he says "Tay-tu Mommy". I can't tell you how good that made me feel inside! One, because he understood when to say Thank You and Two, that he was glad that I had changed his diaper. Another favorite is when we get up first thing in the morning he always says, "Milk peas." Just hearing those simple words of "Peas and Tay-tu" make me feel good about doing more for him. It's not always this polite around here but when I do get a Please and Thank You, it sure makes what you do do feel that much better.

To me that simple concept needs to be carried out more through-out our daily lives. Just a simple "please" or "thank you" can be expressed so simply to people we come into contact with every day and promote an infectious positivity throughout our life and the lives of others. This common courtesy promotes the age-old saying "do unto others as you would have done unto you." It is nice to be thanked and its nice to hear please when being asked for something. 

For me, it makes me want to do things for people again if I hear a genuine please or thank you. I am more willing to go the extra mile. I would hope and only guess that the other person will be more likely to pass along those same "pleases and thank you's" to someone else. It sure does help promote a more positive world to live in for us and our kids. 

I love saying please and thank you to a waiter when out to eat. It usually makes them more likely to do more for me, and in turn they get a better tip - everyone wins! I also like waving to a driver when they have let me over as I am hoping to promote less road rage.  One that I still struggle with is saying "Thank You" when someone gives me a compliment. But I assure you, it makes the other person's compliment seem more important when I am able to graciously accept with a "Thank You".

Kids are sponges and a direct reflection of what they see. So if your kids could use a little work on the "Peas and Tay-tu's" - maybe you too could practice applying this powerful yet simple concept into your own day-to-day life. Try it with bank teller, cashier, waiter, or better yet a family member, friend or your own kids. You never know - they might surprise you with a few more of these words too.

Have a great day!

PS. If you are starting to spring clean and get ready for summer clothes, consider "passing" your clothes along to someone in need. We have received several new requests for clothes. With seasons changes, more kids need clothes for the new weather. "Please" and "Thank You" from Pass It On, Baby! :)

In love and kindness,

Email Elizabeth & Heather

We're Still Here... =)

Please note: If this is your first time visiting our blog, please click here to hear the premise of Pass It On, Baby! and how it all began.... Pass It On, Baby!

Pardon the rambling today. I wanted to reach out and write something, but I am battling some type of sickness. The thoughts are pure, but my mind is a little tired and clouded with medicine. Please be forgiving for any mistakes.... =)

As the seasons change, we are still here helping. Sometimes we don't update our page with immediate needs as much as we should...but week after week, boxes are still heading from one beloved child to another - easing the burden on the mother.

I was talking to my husband lately about how many companies are involved in the idea of giving back. From credit card companies to banks, its great...but it does seem like a increase from what we would normally see. He had an interesting perspective on the whole phenomena. He said that giving back or helping another is pure, innocent and deep down inside we all know it's the right way. As we live our lives further and further away from that with some of the garbage reality TV, greed everywhere, and a loss of many values in our culture, there is a part of us that seeks to hold on that which is good and true.

I don't know if that is true or not, but it makes for an interesting discussion. We talked for awhile about if we know it's the right way, what's the difficulty? We talked about us ourselves and how no matter how much you make, you automatically adjust your lifestyle to account for that new money. We talked about our own path and whether we help as much as we should and how to know. We didn't come upon any answers, but sometimes it helps to just reflect on it all.

That's a totally different conversation that one I had with a girlfriend of mine a few days ago. We were out talking about life and I mentioned my charity and she talked about one that her husband was involved in. She said, "I don't think it's about looking for ways to give back, but rather those that are put in your path to make sure that you see those and help those on their way."

I guess in the end, it doesn't matter. Your way won't be my way and vice versa. That's kind of how it goes in life. So, just help where you yourselves are called to help and this world will be a better place. :)

That being said, if you ARE called to help through Pass It On, Baby! please check your closets as you move from Winter to Spring and your kiddos outgrown their sizes. There are many children who don't have enough clothes to get them through a season. You would likely be shocked at how many people we hear from whose children have nothing but torn and worn children. I have four older boys. My third son has quite a few pairs of jeans...but he ALWAYS plays on his knees. The other day I took out all the pants that had holes in the knees - I think it was more than five pairs! Now, we are fortunate that we usually can hand down from son to son and also buy more clothing when we need it. But really - five pairs? If you were hurting to provide the basics - there is no way you could replace that immediately.

The other day we heard from a woman who was a lot like many of us. She loved to shop and took great pride in how she clothed her children and their appearance. She came across our site and was so happy that she could take those clothes that she had dressed her own children up in and pass them on to another mother who could hopefully feel the same pride. She was passing along all the time and the love she had taken to carefully choose each and every outfit for her daughter and son. It made that feeling that she loved with her own kiddos move onward and carry on.

We are fortunate that you care. That you help. That you reach out for these kiddos. Thank you so very much.

In love and kindness,


Email Elizabeth & Heather

Don't take anything personally...

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DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. ~The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz

Recently I've been re-reading one of my favorite books called The Four Agreements. It's a simple to read book about the agreements we make with ourselves that lead us into a life of unfulfilled expectations in our relationships. Because a couple of the relationships in my life have been i guess what you could say as challenging - I decided it was time to crack open this book again. 

For me, I have many expectations out of my relationships. I give 150% to others (sometimes to a fault) and in return I expect 150%. I help family members in need, some in more desperate need than others, and expect to receive an abundance of appreciation and gratitude. Not to toot my own horn to make me feel how "good" I am but more to know that my loving efforts aren't taken for granted or expected. I want my giving to be a sign of how much I'm willing to give or give-up in order to be there for someone I care for. Because of this, I get easily disappointed. Little do I realize that the recipient in my life is perceiving this loving gift from a completely different perspective than me. They may feel shame, self-conscious, inadequate or just downright depressed because of their situation - and then having to take my form of help. I guess I don't realize what it is the other person is going through and may be unable to express their gratefulness in a way that is "satisfactory" for my feelings. 

That's why this book - especially the above quote on taking things personally - has been so important in me coming to terms with how I have let others affect my feelings about myself. In the past, I have taken what seems to be ungratefulness as a representation that my help or giving to my family member was not enough or that it wasn't good enough. Truly it isn't about me. It's about them. I have to know that as long as my efforts came from a loving place without my ego looking for praise, that I am truly providing the support and assistance they need. 

On the same note, I seem to get lots of opinions from other friends and family members about why I should or shouldn't be helping out or assisting my family member. They have their own thoughts and ideas about what kind of help should be given or how it should be given. I guess again, they aren't coming from my perception. If it's deep in my heart to do something, I should do it and not feel bad because someone else's opinion on the matter is different than mine. As a past people pleaser, this can be quite a challenge. Too many others opinions in my head can make it difficult to know what I truly feel but now I've decided that no matter what I should trust my own feelings and judgments. 

Maybe you can relate in some form or fashion. I just know that I believe so strongly in supporting and helping those in need - especially my own family - that I have to remember that I do it for my reasons from my perspective no matter what anyone else thinks or how they respond to my help. This will keep me free from future pain and suffering looking for affirmations of gratitude or affirmations of doing the right thing. 

I am including additional information about the book and the other agreements. Maybe something will give you and "aha" moment that will free you from unnecessary suffering in your relationships.

Everything we do is based on agreements we have made. In these agreements, we tell ourselves who we are, what everyone else is, how to act, what is possible and what is impossible. What we have agreed to believe creates what we experience. When these agreements come from fear, obstacles and blocks in our life develop  keeping us from realizing our greatest potential.

Based on an ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives and work into a new experience of effectiveness, balance and self-supporting behavior.  

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY - Repeated from above - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. 

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST  - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

May you find some wisdom in these words as I have in helping me cope with difficult relationships and situations. If you've read this book before, maybe you have some insight or practical application to these agreements. Or maybe you just have a comment about what you've read. Please share your thoughts. We want to continue making this space an open forum for not just giving and charity but also in development of ourselves as mothers, wives, daughters, friends and so on.

In love and kindness,

Email Elizabeth & Heather

Thoughts for a Wonderful World....

Please note: If this is your first time visiting our blog, please click here to hear the premise of Pass It On, Baby! and how it all began.... Pass It On, Baby!

Recently I started thinking about how much Heather and I talk about our opinions on giving back and helping those less fortunate. I make no secret of it that sometimes it makes me feel like I'm lecturing or up on a soap box. It makes me even more uncomfortable since I myself am SUCH a work in progress. But, I think I've come to an important realization (one that my poor husband had to listen to for at least an hour on a recent road trip while I got my mind around how I really feel....hee hee =)...you need to, you HAVE to talk, live and share areas in your life that you want to strengthen. You should link up with others that feel the same way. Isn't that what we do when we come together to celebrate our religion as a community? Isn't that why society suggests conquering addictions as a support team? Because its easier to commit to something WITH another than it is without. If you are committing to being kind - a community that feels the same will share ideas and help keep you moving in the right direction. Even when we ourselves aren't for that moment. Because we're living a human existence and so we fall. And then get back up again. And then fall....and as long as you surround yourself with likeminded people and messages of positivity, you'll get back on the path again.... even when its hard and you just don't feel like it. After enough times of surrounding yourself with the positive message, it becomes hard to just ignore it and turn away from it. It becomes a part of who you are.

The great thing for Heather and I about PIOB (Pass It On, Baby! - clever, eh?) is that we really CAN'T fall too far off the path in giving and kindness. Why? Because we are lucky enough to hear from people on both sides -- people who need and people who give - and they pull us right back in to the fold. We hear stories and personal thoughts - and so while I have a string of days that are crazy and I'm stressed, or I am stewing about something that I cannot change, or I am jealous or envious, or (insert your weakness here - I'm sure I've suffered from it!!) - there is this voice that comes through from the emails telling me to snap out of it. It reminds me to become the person you want to be each and every day. And it also reminds me to focus on what's important, what's good - to me that's helping others in any way that I can. Right now, that way is moms and children - its what I know.

For me, its really easy to get lost in the day to day. Running kids to school, back from school , to activities, dinner, chores - sometimes when I'm feeling REALLY sorry for myself, I think I just have SO much going on. Boo hoo for me....so tired. (lol!!) But, then remind myself that EVERYONE has the exact same 24 hours in the day. And that the days build in to weeks, months and then years. If you keep waiting for there to be time to become the person you want -that chance may never come. So, like all of us, you make time for your priorities. And though I can't tell you how to prioritize your life, I can tell you that every religion, every branch of spirituality tells you to care for your fellow mankind. Why? Because we're all in this together.

When I was little, when my brother and I would fight and argue or my sister, my mom would tell us that our family was only as strong as our weakest link. The same can be said about our society. Mahatma Ghandi once said, "A nation's greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members." He was one of about ten famous authors who said a similar statement. ' So I think that most of us know - I mean know in our core that that is what we are supposed to be doing....its just that we aren't always the person we are supposed to be - again, me at the top of the list!! We are busy, stressed, tired, sick....but regardless of that we HAVE to find the time to be the people we want to be.

You might be reading along and think - Wow - how pompous and arrogant she is! The truth is, I'm not. I don't mean to be. I'm trying like you are and I just want this place to be a little better than we found it. I'm making mistakes as I go...I'm trying to learn from others....and I really hope that you see some positivity in my words and that maybe it helps just a little. I can't tell you how many times little notes from some of you have helped get me back to where I need to be headed.

In love and kindness,


Email Elizabeth & Heather