Well, hello friends! I hope this post finds you all well. As Heather mentioned in the last post, things have gotten pretty hectic in our lives. But, it likely mirrors what is going on in each of your own, so I’m thinking we are all in the same boat. Good, because misery loves company! Kidding, kidding…. No, I think it is important because when you are really busy, you are given the opportunity to prioritize and really see your weaknesses.
I have a teenager now, so that’s probably gives you enough info to let you know that we have some moodiness and some assertion of his own ideas, which includes arguing many (if not close to all – LOL!) of mine. That’s fine in a sense…he needs to develop in to the man he will become…its just the meantime that is going to wear we out! I get that the teenage years can be some of the hardest years, but my husband and I are trying to make sure that “home” is the safe place – safe from the peer pressure, where you are helped with your difficulties, loved unconditionally, but also where you are taught increasing responsibility, meeting expectations and being a helpful member of our family as well as the community.
For those that know me in real life, I can be quick to react. I wasn’t born a laid-back person, I have to work really hard at that. And when my kiddos argue with me, I have to work SUPER hard to not get drawn in to the argument and remain the calm parent. Sooo – because I fully realize that I have my work cut-out for me, I’ve turned to a new book that I’m LOVING and that has given me some helpful info for the current road and the road ahead. The book is called Redirecting Children’s Behavior by Kathryn J. Kvols. Anyhow, the first day that I open the book, I’m tired…like all of us, right? It’s the end of a busy day where I’ve raised my voice several times...sort of feel like a failure….Lo and behold, it starts off with how, as parents, before we can be anything to anyone, we better be taking care of ourselves.
It was too perfect to be a coincidence and too reputable of a source to make me feel selfish in doing so. I loved the parallel the author drew…..in an airplane, as they are reviewing the safety guidelines, they state in an emergency that you are first to put the oxygen mask over yourself before attempting to help your children. If you have nothing left for yourself, you have nothing left to give…whether its energy, attention or even the basics like oxygen. (On a side note, the organization that publishes the workbook had the most beautiful mission statement….”It is imperative that we commit ourselves to creating peaceful families because…..World peace begins at home.” ) Soooo – that’s where I’m at these days. Even if its fifteen minutes out of the day, trying to get myself centered, focused – peaceful. And I hope you are too...
When we mention how hectic life can be – we aren’t complaining, really. (Most of the time…=) We are just figuring out how to make it all work. The life you lead is the sum of all the choices we’ve made up until this point, so if we don’t like where we are at – then we better get to work changing it. And we are never saying that Pass It On, Baby! isn’t our one aspect of our lives that we love more than we can say – it is. So no worries there….its a part of me now and when I box up those clothes, I still get the feeling like I am putting good in to the world and I simply like that feeling.
Take your moment and give it to yourself. Read a minute, have some tea, pray, mediate, exercise…whatever you do that re-centers you. I do lots of the above on any given day – but today I took out my kids' book from Shel Silverstein Where the Sidewalk Ends. I read some of the poems that made me laugh as a kid and after I felt pretty settled, I called everyone around and read those same poems to the kids. I’m going to leave you with a tiny one that still makes me smile….
"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be." — Shel Silverstein
And all these years later....I still believe it can.
In love and kindness,
Email Elizabeth & Heather
that is so true about filling yourself up before you can truly give yourself to someone else. We are taught that it is selfish but it isn't! In "The Secret" it says to fill yourself up so much, tell yourself how much you love yourself and how great you are and write down all the things you are good at etc...and do this until you feel so good and feel like you might explode and THEN and only then can you give so much of yourself to someone, because you have so much to give now-it is almost too much that you need to give some away...You especially always give to your kids and to your family. You really are a great mom. Just remember to do something for yourself every day and "fill up". Love you...
ReplyDeletep.s. some of my best Childhood memories are from "Where the Sidewalk Ends" and I thought it spoke a little more to me bc we really did live where the sidewalk ended ;)