I think the old saying goes "sometimes you're the bat and sometimes you're the ball" ... it's kind of the way life works out. Sometimes you're the message, other times the message is directed to you. Lately, I guess I've been both...and learning a lot about the risks you take, the benefits you reap and remembering that you either jump head-first in the pool or walk away all together.....there is no sitting on the side. =)
Easter Sunday is an important time for our family. Yes, it's a time where we celebrate with food, candy and egg hunts - but for my husband and I, its also a time where we take stock of our lives and the way in which we are raising our children. It was important for us to celebrate by going to Mass on Easter Sunday. We had the kids dressed up beautifully, had finished up one egg hunt, had an amazing breakfast and were feeling pretty good about life. I remember the moments clearly, because I teared up a few times thinking about how perfect the day was and how I wished I could bottle the moment and never have it leave. So, when my two year old, Ashlyn, started getting squirrely in Mass, I took her out and let her wander the halls without a second thought. There were LOTS of moms and dads out doing the same thing, each with their own level of frustration. While Ashlyn explored, I read the bulletin boards and noticed a 5K going on for a young girl and her boyfriend that had passed away in a car wreck earlier in fall. Ashlyn distracted me and I went back to watching her when a grandfather approached me and told me how nice Ash looked. I thanked him and remarked the same about his granddaughter in her Easter dress. He had noticed our family in church and talked about how well behaved my kids were and how nice they looked. (Not sure what moment he saw them in --hee hee...because the behaving can sometimes be a rarity!) Anyhow, we started talking about having large families. He was so interested in our family because he, himself had seven children and my young family reminded him of his own. He talked about the fun of the holidays and how he also had a boy dominated family...we just seemed to hit it off and were at ease talking. He looked down and paused for a second and said, "Im so sorry. I don't know why I am telling you this, but that was my youngest," and motioned to the bulletin board where the memorial race was advertised. His fifteen year old daughter had been the girl who passed away in the car wreck. I hugged him immediately and we both started crying. Here I was in the moment of absolute joy with my baby, and he was living his first Easter without his own. We talked for a little before Mass was over and it ended up that I volunteered for his sister-in-law on a weekly basis. A week later when I ran in to her, she pulled me aside and told me that her brother-in-law had struggled with his faith since the accident and had seen his running in to me as a message that people and life in general is good. It was his moment of peace on Easter. Its funny you know, because I'm always struggling to get to church too, struggling with my beliefs, struggling to be a better person. Strange to think that you could be a message of compassion for someone when you yourself are looking for that same message....
At the same time, I see someone like Tammy as my own sort of message. She represents all that you can do when you truly give of yourself to help another. If you haven't read her story....please click here. If you remember, Tammy is the mother of two who was chatting on a moms message board with a mother two states away who had been diagnosed with lymphoma. With no one to help her care for her small daughter during her treatments, she had started to turn them down until she could figure something out. That was when Tammy had the thought - what if I cared for her daughter (she runs an in-home daycare center) while she focused on getting better. It was a story that touched so many of our hearts. Recently Tammy wrote to us again, not for any accolades, but to make sure that the mother she was helping by caring for her beautiful daughter, knew how loved she was. Take a moment and read about the good news and the struggles they have experienced here....it is amazing. http://www.thewolfleysketchpad.com/ Tammy reminds me that sometimes the real answers don't come from the head - that sometimes that gets in the way. Sometimes the real answers are irrational, unclear and uncertain.....but in the end, those moments will make it all worth living.
I say it a lot - but I feel so lucky to meet these people along the way. They humble me and remind me how I want to live and who I need to be. We recently heard from a mother of a miracle baby. A baby born without a heartbeat and without brain fuction....who remained that way for 13 minutes. He wasn't supposed to live. He wasn't supposed to eat, to walk, to talk.....and yet he is. With a mother who never gave up. With another inspiration....
Sometimes I spend so much time making lists, dealing in reality and common sense that I forget that there are miracles that occur each and every day. They come in the forms of people. They show in the form of example. They touch our lives and make us want to be just a little better from having met them. So here's to them. and to you...those of you that have walked as an example and who make the beauty in the world seem just a little bit brighter. You never know who is watching, who is learning, whose life you will have touched or influenced. But the world is just a tad better because of you, today.
In love and kindness,
Email Elizabeth & Heather
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